Get To Yes

People today are more accessible and more distracted than ever.  They are being asked to say yes to many things more often by lots of people.  Saying yes to a question usually takes energy.  You have to;

  • Think about the question,
  • Weigh the potential risks and rewards,
  • Consider the outcomes.  Are they good or bad?
  • Contemplate who is asking and what they actually want.  Are we aligned?

Saying yes gives the asker control, it lets them fill in the blanks and puts them in the driver’s seat.  Our instinct is to say no because it almost always feels safer, easier and takes much less work to do in the moment.

But what if you are the one looking to get a “yes” answer to your question?  Try flipping the question like this:

Instead of asking: “Can we move ahead with the proposal?”

Try asking: “Would it be a big problem to move to the next step?”

The person is now considering how to answer “do you have a big problem”.  Saying yes to that requires consideration and effort:

  • What’s my list of problems?
  • Where does this rank?
  • Do I have a problem with the person asking?
  • Do I want a problem with the person asking?

Try flipping the question to make it easier for them to say no.  It’s exactly what you want.